For some reason, this particular day, this moment, this choice felt like a Turning Point—one of those forks in the road.
It’s hard to admit, but every now and then I slide into an outdated, yet familiar, groove of insufficiency: “I’m not enough. Nothing is enough.” I lose confidence, feel inept. It’s not much fun…but I don’t stay there long. Usually I slide back into a groove of confident enthusiasm and focused intention pretty quickly.
On this winter morning though, my mind ran around and around the hamster wheel of worry during my 90-minute yoga practice. Half past six in the morning is early to start moving, but it’s heavenly in the dark silent room with dozens of women and men moving through the Ashtanga Yoga routine. The only sound is deep Ujjayi breath*.
Usually I relax into the spacious flow of each breath. This time my mind was on a rampage. Frustrated, and then sad, my feelings finally slid into downright pathetic. There I was, aligning my movement and breath into a supposedly dynamic flow. Breathing deeply, arms above my head, plank, down to the floor, up-dog, down-dog, through the vinyasa flow into pose, transition, pose.
In my tense and disconnected internal state, I moved like a clunky robot. Round and round the wheel of feelings. Arms up, arms down, one pose after another, with variations of “Oh woe is me.” I had no idea there was so much to complain about, but that day I dredged it all up.
Finally, I noticed my discomfort and named it: “I am repeating a really old mind pattern of insufficiency.” Wow. I thought I’d long ago transformed that mindset. Letting it be okay, my breath changed.
I shifted from reacting to accepting my feelings. As if I was holding a young child with a bad “owie,” I softened my heart. Tension eased as I sent a current of warm love throughout my body. I realized I have a choice, once again: to focus on the small tight circle of my fears, or rest in the larger circle of sufficiency and wholeness.
I could smile again. The intelligence of inner wisdom returned. And, my yoga practice, enlivened, led me into big energy to fuel my day.
These turning points are continual. When we notice and appreciate our pivots from reaction into mindfulness, we strengthen our capacity to make future U-turns into a broader, wiser way of moving through life.
This principle is true in organizations and leadership development as well. As leaders, there can be big repercussions when we get off the path and spiral into ineffective patterns of feeling and thinking. Our self-awareness shapes our internal state which shapes what we see, how we behave, and affects how we think, changing the quality of our decisions and communication.
The more we notice and then turn a reactive state into a mindful state, the deeper and more familiar this groove becomes. Once a positive internal state is in place, strengthened, and shared, we can work together to accomplish consequential initiatives.
Years ago, I was facilitating an-end-of-year Senior Management retreat. It had been a hard year. The participants kept returning to a familiar groove of what went wrong, to personal and collective mistakes. Shoulders hunched, jaws tightened, and tempers rose as they turned every productive conversation into an opportunity to magnify problems.
On the break I asked several managers how they were feeling. The responses ranged from frustrated to discouraged to doomed. Uncertain now whether or not they could pull off next year’s big plans, they discussed downsizing their commitments. They didn’t want to set themselves up for failure.
After we reconvened, I spoke to their relentless focus on problems and asked to move in a new direction. They agreed. I challenged them to fill the walls with what worked this year. Starting with the obvious, we drilled down into what made things work – the people, agreements, mindsets, systems, and strategies. I was relentless. They were more than willing.
They left the retreat confident and aligned, with solid commitments to next year’s plans. Focused on what worked, they leveraged and built on their robust foundation of strength. Now they could achieve more, faster, in their important work identifying and scaling innovative changes that meet critical environmental and social outcomes in apparel industry supply chains.
From what I can see at this point in my life, the difficult thought patterns and reactions are always going to come up. They capture us and we dance together for a time. The question is how long we stay there, whether or not we remember that a more consciously aware perspective is just around the turn.
Simply put, employ these five steps to start shifting into your own turning point:
Notice – Pause, become aware of body sensations, thoughts, emotions and reactions.
Name – Identify when you are caught in an unkind, negative or unproductive thinking or feeling pattern.
Accept – Stop resisting or judging the pattern. Just get that this is what is going on.
Choose – Breathe. Give your attention to what works: discover the best of this moment, the highlights of the year, the accomplishments that matter.
Act – From this positive foundation.
I might have to use these five steps again. Perhaps many times today. But, at 6:30, I’ll be ready to move into yoga because I’m practicing and strengthening an internal new routine that will keep me in flow.
Conscious leaders notice where they place their attention and know that what we choose to amplify changes our experience, our feelings of capacity and our willingness and ability to turn around, internally face a new direction, and take effective action to improve life for all beings.
*Ujjayi breath is a full breath which first fills the lower belly, rises to the lower rib cage, and finally moves into the upper chest and throat with a sound in the back of the throat while moving through asanas – physical or sitting poses. It’s sometimes called the “Ocean breath.”