Our lives are different, and we face an evolving new normal. This pandemic is triggering anxiety and uncertainty as personal and company plans are upended.
To steady myself I picked up a reliable source of wisdom, Love is Letting Go of Fear by Jerry Jampolsky. Reading this again seems particularly relevant given the immense disruption of our lives and work.
When I first read the book, I must admit, I wondered….what does it really mean that Love is letting go of fear? On my wobbly days, when fear and worry dominate, I forget. But then I remember – love remains even when, at this moment, I can’t touch it. Jerry convincingly makes the point that:
“Fear and Love can never be experienced at the same time. It is always our choice as to which of these emotions we want. By choosing Love more consistently than fear, we can change the nature and quality of our relationships.”
Fear is the status quo for too many communities or organizations. Think about the places where love is left behind—where mean, harsh words fill the air, where navigating impatient demands and vindictive gotchas require fancy foot work. If you are like me, in this situation you don’t bring your best self forward. It’s not easy to remember that love exists.
Yet, when we choose love, the way we work and live and lead changes. Consciously choosing love brings out the best in us and others. Hidden, buried, or set-aside skills and talents begin to emerge. Coming from a place of love, those around us feel heard and respected. In an atmosphere of kindness, patience, and care, we relax, speak honestly, and reach out to collaborate. Difficult choices are easier to make and easier to accept. When we let go of fear and choose love we feel steady, resilient, and able to positively respond even in the midst of big change.
Just yesterday I was speaking with a director of an international nonprofit about the waves of change she sees coming over the next couple of months. She doesn’t see the world returning to the old normal. As a former surfer, she describes what she sees coming as multiple sets, rolling waves of change after change coming her way. With some humor, she reported that at least, at the moment, choosing love is putting her on the right side of the surfboard.
As leaders respond to the impact of immense disruptions, steady those around them, and look for new opportunities for service, the skills that always mattered like listening, empathy, and love become even more critical.
In my experience, coming from love serves organizations and people in six important ways. Love:
Steadies us in uncertain times
Creates connection
Activates engagement
Clears the lens of perception, how we make sense of things
Unlocks wisdom
Propels right action
Love is extraordinarily ordinary. It’s not all that esoteric; it’s not reserved for hot romance. Love is fundamental, the place we start from and return to. Our ground of being. It’s easy to forget that love is available, always there, resting quietly in the background. Some days it’s easier to turn up the volume on angst, to feel alone, to get angry, to be overwhelmed by fear. Yet, love is there waiting, welling up inside when we but let it. I invite love forward in every executive coaching session, and we make it practical.
This broken, scared, weeping world of ours asks that we design our lives and our future from love. With rainbows, clapping, and howls we celebrate the dedication of those on the front lines of the pandemic. It’s also time to recognize that we are all on the front lines of climate change, toxic pollution, and resource depletion and the choices we make matter, for ourselves and others.
Now that many countries have slowed activity to flatten the curve of COVID-19, we can see the remarkable regenerative power of nature. In our care for ourselves and each other we made room for the earth to regenerate. People in cities can see the stars, birds are singing in downtown Los Angeles, dolphins are swimming in the Venice canals. But this is temporary unless we design a different future.
Do we love the earth enough to let her flourish? To create the conditions for a vibrant, healthy world for the generations that follow? Are we willing to ask new questions, think differently, make hard choices? Do we know the path home?
We can’t allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by paralysis. Viable paths exist in our communities and organizations that we can support with our daily purchases. Let’s start at home.
The apparel and footwear industries are significant contributors to greenhouse gases and chemical pollution. Many eco-friendly clothing brands like Patagonia or Everlane care deeply about our planet and work to combat climate change and accelerate sustainable impact. A new McKinsey report, “The State of Fashion Coronavirus Update,” points to the impact we can have as consumers: “Now, the resulting ‘quarantine of consumption’ could accelerate consumer shifts, such as a growing antipathy toward waste-producing business models and heightened expectations for purpose-driven, sustainable action.”
The pandemic has added speed and urgency to the needed changes. A recent article, “The Pandemic Could Be a Call to Action on Climate Change” highlights this.
Good work is being done. I was recently inspired looking at The Eileen Fisher Horizon 2030 Plan, which begins:
Building on the sustainable progress we’ve already made—and knowing where we’ve come up short—we now have to go further, faster. Limiting the harm we do is no longer enough—we must leave the places we touch better than we found them.
The climate crisis demands urgent action. If not now, when?
This is love in action, taking responsibility for our choices and the extent of the problem. Consumers are asking where things come from and how clothes are made. Companies are willing to invest because they can see we are destroying the planet.
In this evolving new normal, when the waves of change come one after another, perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person, and to the world, is to consistently choose to come from love. Over time, love becomes a place we stand, a commitment that opens our deepest passion in and for life, a way of living that leaves the places we touch better than we found them.
In this time of uncertainty and physical distancing, connecting with each other from and in a space of love, feels vitally important for the well-being of ourselves, our communities, and the planet. It's time for love. I’ll join you there.
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Are you ready to discover more about coming from love in your life? For the first time ever, we are offering our Women's Retreats online!
The Power and Gifts of Love
ONLINE Women’s Wisdom Retreats
May 18 – May 22, 2020
9:30am to 12:30pm Pacific Time
Click here for new dates and times
$500.00 (a special pricing for these times)
Led by Karen Wilhelm Buckley and Dianne Morrison with Suki Munsell, Ph.D.
This will be an exquisite week as we uncover all that's possible when we come from love in the world, whether at work or home.
Please reach out to me with any questions.